When I bow my head
Are the words I've said
Alive or dead
Do I surrender
To all the splendor
That His love does render
When He does forgive
To Him will I give
And begin to live
Do I live for God
Or is beneath a façade
Hiding a fraud
Yet beneath this doubt
Within and without
My heart does shout
To my God above
Who is the perfection of
Holy grace and love
Through Him I win
From my depths within
Victory over sin
I often do a lot of introspection regarding my relationship with God. And I have recently learned a lesson that has hit me very, very hard. I hope I can adequately express this to you to help you further strengthen your relationship with God.
I have taken the word commitment for granted. This word is a modern era word. It is almost a PC word.
During one of my men's bible study, we were working together in "The Incredible Power of Kingdom Authority" by Adrian Rogers. In his interviews with Romanian Evangelist Josef T'son, it is discussed that the word commitment didn't become regularly used until the 1960s. In fact, when a word becomes popular in society, it usually replaces and old word. Research shows that the word replaced by commitment is surrender.
What's the difference?
It's in the control and this has been where my personal conflict has been keenly focused in my past.
When you commit to something, great or small, you are still in control. You can very easily be committed to doing things. You can commit to praying, reading your bible, spending more time with your family, New Year's resolutions, etc. Being in control of them means that you can choose not to do them. YOU CAN CHOOSE! If you think about it, how many things that you commit to are actually fulfilled? Whether it's losing weight or giving more time, most people don't fully follow through on their commitments. And I am just as guilty.
Surrender is a very different thing! Think about things that you would be obligated to surrender to: a burglar holding a gun to your head or a knife to your throat, an airplane you are on that plummets from the sky, or a surgical procedure being performed on you. In those cases, you have absolutely no choice but to surrender to their particular circumstances.
When I really looked at this, I began to ache. Even though there are things I have unconditionally surrendered to God, I found myself in an almost panic about the things that I have only committed to God. Yes, they may have been very noble and worthwhile things, but by only committing them, I maintained the control. Who am I to think that I actually have the right to control? ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE THINGS OF GOD!!!! I even arrogantly thanked God for leading me to commit things to Him!
I began to take inventory of my physical and spiritual life to see what I should be surrendering to God. My prayer life is improving, my marriage is improving, my relationships with family and friends are improving. I find it much more satisfying to be in His Holy Word. My desire to follow Jesus grows deeper and deeper every day
I am still taking inventory, still aching, and yet still praising and thanking God because even through all of this, He loves me unconditionally. To Him be all the honor and glory. Amen.
(revised from a previously posted blog of 5/30/2008)
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