1-800-GET-OBAMA

So sorry to bother you, Senator...

Excuse me, Sir, my name is Columbo.

Ah . . . Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . .

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, Sir. Um . . . I know you're busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok Sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know... no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know?

Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so.

Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could tell me where these things are -- I -- I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.

Could you please help me find these things Senator?

1. Occidental College records -- Not released
2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- Not available
4. Harvard College records -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available
8. Illinois State Senate records -- Not available
9. Law practice client list -- Not released
10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
12. Record of your baptism -- Not available

Oh, and one more thing Senator, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me Sir?

Oh but, hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy.

I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. . .

What's that Senator? Who wants to know these things?

We the People of the United States of America. You know... the ones that vote.

`Twas the Night Before Elections

'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

" On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi"
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

They Laugh In Obama's General Direction

"O" The Motion Picture

The thought process of Robert Byrd

Senate President Pro Tem Robert Byrd: "Obama for President! (he'll get shot by one of my fellow klansmen, Biden ascends, but he'll get shot because he's an idiot, Nancy Pelosi ascends, She's just plain nuts so I'll beat her to death with the copy of the constitution I have in my pocket and then it'll be PRESIDENT ROBERT BYRD!!!)

God Help Us!!!!!!!!!!!

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

SNL's crassness with modern politics

So, I decided to give SNL one more chance to keep the humor as unbiased as possible and to keep the tactless attacks on Sarah Palin’s family out of the fun.

The parody of the VP debate was going brilliantly with both sides getting an equal amount to ribbing. This was starting to show that it could be fun again until there was 3:40 left in the clip. That was about where the “unwilling teenagers” jab was given.



Incest, and now this?

I thought at least it could remain fun for everyone…especially the candidates and their families. Bush, the elder used to enjoy Dana Carvey’s take on him and took the jabs in stride.

This is supposed to be a show where comedy can say to our national leaders what we don’t always get the chance to and in fun. But any American that would openly attack the Palin family the way SNL does has lost any sense of tact or taste.

Now, on the positive note, the C-Span Bailout clip was spot on! I commented on another blog that I wouldn’t be surprised to see the actual people act that way and say those actual words.

The "O" Team

Matt Damon predicted it!

Apparently Matt Damon did a cross-coop between Sundance and Disney:

The USAF is recruiting younger and younger these days!

A FEW YEARS AGO IN A HOUSE NOT SO FAR FROM WHERE I LIVE NOW…

Long before Family Guy or Robot Chicken did it, and yet WAY after Hardware Wars and still just a few years after Spaceballs, the Animaniacs did their own Star Wars parody called Star Warners. Here is that episode:

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:


“May the Nurse be with you….always.”

Sarah Palin is still hotter

Paris Hilton responds to the McCain ad calling Obama a big celebrity.

At least her energy plan is somewhat sensable, Barry!